This starts out with some sort of gloomy navel-gazing. I think I just needed an outlet? But then there is stitchy stuff at the end! So it's not all a waste of pixels! :D
It crossed my mind last night that I don't mull over bright, unnecessary things as much lately. In free moments, my mind tends to wander down a lane cluttered with depressing and frightening current events, things that are going wrong that are out of my control, random angry or sad things, worries and uncertainties, and, like, reminders of housework that needs to be done.
I miss taking detours down mental garden paths. I miss fun fictional characters who've grabbed my attention, delightful snippets of the world around me, hopeful glimpses of the future. Yadda.
Not that my brain was all fun and games before last summer - hah! No. LOLOLOL. But I haven't been quite this unhappy in years.
The reasons are external things that I am, I guess, internalizing. And I think I'm having a mid-life crisis. Not even factoring all of the terrible & embarrassing things going on in my country, I'm struggling with looking at another 20 years, at least, of work that I don't particularly enjoy but need because life is expensive and I only have my income to depend on.
And, I have been adulting like crazy at home lately. Making dinner! Doing all the dishes! Almost keeping up with laundry! Watering the garden! Going to bed at a reasonable hour! Tidying things! Etc! Which means that I have maybe 20 minutes of 'me-time' in the evening, not much time to do the small, pleasurable things.
I'm almost wondering if the people who have always told me that having my domestic space in order would make me more happy than slacking off to do fun things does...were totally wrong.
I've been making a point to pick up stitching most evenings. Even if I just put in one thread's worth of stitches, it helps me still feel like I'm making progress on something I enjoy. My at-home project is Mysterious Halloween Town by Frosted Pumpkin Stitchery. I'm roughly here-ish:
My mostly-at-work project is Just Nan's Spring Mouse in a House. I finished the mouse a couple weekends ago, and am working on the house. I've got two sections done:
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